• Smart
• Sensual
• Caring
• Playful
• Cooperative
• Unique

Heck, I even read here that Dolphins can recognize themselves in a mirror! (Ladies who have taken classes with us know all about our special relationship with mirrors.  

I'd say that the traits of swimming dolphins apply just as well to our dancing Dolphins. Add in sexy, graceful, beautiful, strong, and kind, and you know what we mean when we give the compliment that something or someone is "so Dolphin!"

Have a Dolphin Day!

Rest assured, what we don't have is not something that we are "missing". Rather, continuing in our philosophy that "Every Woman Deserves to Feel Sexy", and "Sexy is a State of Mind"*, the most amazing changes that happen in our studio cannot be captured with a still frame on camera. Every woman who walks through our doors is beautiful the moment she arrives – we don't make her more beautiful. We only help her see what was there already. 

While many students experience weight loss, muscle gain, and an increase in muscle tone through our classes, these are simply ancillary benefits that are inherent through all forms of dance and movement. We celebrate any accomplishment that makes our students feel proud of themselves, of course, but what is most satisfying to us as teachers is to see those moments and hear those words expressing when our students feel beautiful – inside and out.

Remember, "before" ladies – you are beautiful at any weight and size. You are good enough exactly as you are today. And the "after" we most want for you is one in which you can recognize that in yourself.

*Phrases coined by Dolphin Dance creator Kristen Titko

In a world of limited resources, some level of competition is required for survival and can be seen in varied forms – we strive for good grades so we can get into good universities; we interview in hopes of landing one of a limited number of jobs; we seek a mate who can care for us, whether emotionally or financially; we rear our children with the necessary skills they will need to survive. However, once our basic needs are met, further competition is no longer necessary, although there are those who desire it.

At Dolphin Dance, we have consciously formed a non-competitive environment. To those who don’t find joy in competition, it is a respite from a world that asks us to always compare ourselves to and compete with others to find our worth. Our students are encouraged to admire and respect themselves and each other, rather than looking at each other as competition. Each woman who enters our doors brings with her something that makes her wonderful. It could range from one or a combination of any of a myriad of qualities, such as: physical strength, technical skill, the ability to learn quickly, flexibility, a sense of freedom of movement, a positive attitude, the ability to compliment herself, the ability to share her feelings, asking good questions, determination, hard work, easy smiles.

We encourage our students to only compete with themselves – to not compare their "progress" with that of other students, but to only see where they have grown. Each woman in her own time, at her own pace, and honoring her own body. In this way, the learning experience can remain an outlet to bring positivity to women and an example of the uniqueness of each woman’s beauty as manifested through dance. No need for anxiety of how one will be judged, and whether one is good enough to be "better than" another.

Additionally, we strive for an attitude that is not competitive to other dance studios. We honor that each instructor and studio brings something unique to the pole dance experience, and recognize that women have different goals when they take classes – some for fitness, some indeed have goals of athletic or dance-based competition, some to build self-esteem, some to feel sexy, some to spice up their romantic relationships, some to simply find something that is done just for themselves. Women, hopefully, will find the studio that feels right for them. This freedom and positivity has led to us having a fiercely loyal student body, made up of women who have found a home with the Dolphin Dance family. We hope that all studios find this to be true for their own students, and that each student finds the studio that is right for her.

Everywhere in the media, in our workplaces, even within our families we see an absence of simple things. Though I seldom watch television due to my busy schedule, when I do it is impossible to escape images and messages geared toward persuading us women to think that we need to acquire material things in order to be happy…I am sure that you, dear reader, can fill in the blank with a similar image or example you have seen. I am not writing about everyday items that we actually need, but rather about the never ending excess: ultra expensive shoes, never enough brand-name clothes, more ear rings, never happy enough with the current hair color, more jewelry, not big enough diamonds, the latest leggins, the list can go on. The message is that unless we keep buying these items we will not be happy. New items appear daily and the new need kicks in; unless we get this one, we will not feel good.

All the purchasing and excess bling goes toward filling up a hole. It moves away from "the simple" and makes life complicated, for all it does is simply feed a yearn that does not have a name. It makes us forget about "the simple things in life."

I am one of the instructors here at Dolphin Dance in Poulsbo. Recently, one of my students reached a milestone: the inversion. Those who have been pole dancers for a long time know that this move, when attempted for the first time, it is no easy task. It requires great determination, but most importantly a sense of awareness of your entire body. That night, our fearless Dolphin went upside down and in so doing gave herself and all around her great happiness. She achieved a marvelous thing only with her body! The grin on her face that night made me think "wow, it is the simple things in life." Her classmate has been working on inversions for quite some time. I gave her a challenge to try a move called "the blade" and she did not hesitate to invert and get it done. And what a celebration that caused! I have another group of beginner Dolphins who have been working very hard the past few weeks. Each class I see their improvement, their bodies moving with more grace, their happiness when they realize they have conquered a move -and looked sexy doing it-. Last week they graduated Pole 101 and they put together beautiful performances. I was so proud of them! It was just us ladies in a safe place, with some music, and  a pole.

These achievements came with determination, positive thoughts, self awareness, encouragement from one another, and the sheer joy of feeling your body going the extra mile. There was no need of cocktails, expensive shoes -we were barefeet-, bling, brand name clothes…it was just ourselves enjoying the power of our bodies, marveling at the beauty we can create with our limbs, feeling surprised at our bodies strength, laughing, applauding, sometimes tearing up. Simple, and what a great time we all have!

My students and my own training have made the saying "it's the simple things in life" all the more real for me. Actually "it's the simple things in pole." Come to Dolphin Dance and feel it  .

When I started training at Dolphin Dance I was new, physically and emotionally. I write novels as a profession and had been commissioned to write a novella about circus performers, many of whom were acrobats and aerialists and pole dancing was the closest I could get to trying aerial arts for myself. It was only going to be a one time thing. At least that’s what I told myself aloud. The truth was I was intrigued. I wanted to feel sexy, but like many young women I had been raised to think sexy was almost a dirty word. It was something to avoid or at least keep very private. It took me a month to gather the courage to join a class.

I had spent my entire life in a bubble. I had horrible self esteem. I had struggled to lose more than 100 lbs and, though I was finally near my goal weight, I had very little muscle tone and even less confidence. I remember I hardly smiled in my first class. I couldn’t look myself in the eye in the mirrors while dancing. When Emily asked us to close our eyes and just move to the music, I stayed completely still, my arms crossed tight over my chest, stiff with fear and my guilt from own audacity at thinking I could ever be “sexy.” It was one of the most vulnerable and emotionally terrifying days of my life. But at the end of class I could feel the seeds of something amazing stirring in my heart. To this day I don’t know what made me come back for a second class. Maybe it was as simple as I’d prepaid and was so desperate for money I didn’t want to waste a cent. Maybe I just knew I’d come to love it. But for whatever reason, I kept returning.

I burst into tears three times in the first six classes. Things I didn’t know I’d face emotionally at all, let alone in a dance class, would rise suddenly to the surface and Emily was always there to keep me from feeling stupid. To validate that doing anything that requires us to evoke emotion, tap into our hearts and seemingly lay them on the dance floor, can leave us vulnerable. And asking a woman, especially one who was raised very conservatively, to tap into her inner sexy beast? A few breakdowns are expected.

I learned to channel my insecurity into work. I fought to master new moves until I ingrained black bruises the size of dollar bills across my feet and legs. My self esteem rose, followed by my muscle mass. The first day I forced myself to slow down and execute a body roll (something I’d always wanted to do but felt too stiff and uncoordinated to pull off) a spark went off in my mind. I fell in love with exotic dance. I realized I could mimic the angles and curves I admired in other female dancers and, eventually, tweek them and make them my own. I watched myself in the mirror first for form and then because I genuinely liked what I saw. And the first time I got up the nerve to play on a pole in public? It was magic. I was dead sexy and I knew it. Eventually, it even became okay with me that other people knew it.

Dolphin Dance changed my life. No… Dolphin Dance saved my life. The focus we put on self esteem, confidence, sexiness and the pure love we have and express for all women, no matter their age or shape, is powerful. All women deserve to feel sexy. Right now. Not when they lose that last ten pounds or dye their hair or when they were 20 years younger. Now.

For the first time in my life I love what I see when I look in the mirror. I feel strong. I feel capable on my own and with others. I feel sexy. I feel like the me I always saw in my mind but couldn’t physically express.

I became a teacher at the beginning of the year because I wanted to share my experiences with other women. Shy wall flowers walk into my class and leave standing a little taller, shining a bit brighter, falling in love with themselves. Every day I feel like I leave the world a bit better than I found it, but the truth is I don’t do anything but give women a safe place to express themselves. They make the magic. I’m honored to be in their presence. I never expected I’d feel this way teaching pole dance.

Looking back, I attribute so much of what Dolphin Dance helped me achieve to Emily. I suppose it’s natural to put your teacher on a pedestal, but my teacher is literally the Aphrodite in my personal pantheon. I’ll never forget the first time I saw her dance in public. With her ponytail, freckles, glasses and inconspicuous tee shirt and jeans she was hardly the first person you’d expect to toss her hair and slide down the pole rolling her hips and twisting her body in a way that makes her look like she’s  floating. For the first time I really started to realize the almost innocent joy that can come from letting your inner sexy goddess come out to play. After all, women are made of paradoxes, contrasts and mystery. They’re beautiful and powerful by nature. How much a woman chooses to share of her inner self is entirely up to her, but to hide out of shame is a crime. In a single dance, Emily removed the stigma from “sexy” for me forever.

When Emily told me her husband was being relocated across the country because of the military I didn’t hesitate to volunteer with my fellow teacher Marie to manage the studio. I couldn’t stand the thought of a world without Dolphin Dance.

It’s no surprise, then, that Emily moving could leave me staring at a blank wall trying not to cry. But the strength and skills Emily left me and the “Dolphin Power” I found dancing with my girls has made me confident I can help carry on Emily’s legacy here in Washington. I’m excited, honored and a bit terrified.

I put a large bulletin board on the wall where Emily’s picture used to hang. I want to use it to display pictures of my students doing moves they’re especially proud of because those moves are more than sexy displays of buffness; they represent new beginnings, overcome challenges, the power of womanhood. Dolphin Power. They’re a record of my girls blossoming and I couldn’t be a prouder mama. I pinned a mini print of Emily’s portrait in the middle of the bulletin board for good measure. Mama Dolphin watching over us all.

Charleston is lucky to have Emily. I’m sad to see her go. But more than anything, I can’t wait to see what the future will bring.

Launa

I have been asked more than once if I would offer a pole dance class only for ‘older’ ladies.  I will not, and the decision is one that came from a lot of thought, and from life experience.  Women benefit immensely from having relationships with other women of all ages.  While some of us are fortunate to have wonderful sisters, mothers, aunts and grandmothers, there are many women who have never gotten to experience these sorts of relationships.  Additionally, within a family unit, our understanding of women at different ages and stages in life is somewhat clouded by the traditional meanings and inherent walls in understanding related to “my” ‘Mom’, ‘Aunt’, ‘Sister’, ‘Grandmother’. 

To get a real sense of “women”, to breed solidarity rather than competitiveness, to look forward to the future and honor our past, the value of friendships and experiences with women of all ages cannot be understated.  The opportunity for older women to mentor younger women, the opportunity for younger women to be mentored, the chance for older women to show younger women that you never stop being a woman, the chance for younger women to remind older women of past moments in their journey, the chance for each to learn from the other, and so on and so forth.  As a feminist, I believe that we need to view each other simply as women first, and let those things which we cannot control (such as age, race, physical features, etc.) not separate and segregate us. 

In my life, I have been incredibly fortunate to have women friends ranging from several years younger, to almost 50 years older than I.  These relationships have been enriching in ways that I never even dared to dream. 

My friend Barb A, who I met when I was 21 and she was nearing 70, was the first feminist I ever met who was older than my Mom.  I once described her as “the coolest old lady I know!”, intending it as a compliment only to learn from her later that “old lady” is offensive like the “n-“ word.  She taught me, through word and deed, that the “great part about being a feminist is that you never have to become an ‘old woman’.”  She drives a red Mustang, wears purple leather, and speaks her mind.  For her 69^th birthday, she invited women to her home to read “The Vagina Monologues” for her birthday party.  She opened my worldview to the idea that women don’t have to become hidden, conservative, or anything other than themselves simply because we age.

As an exotic and pole dance teacher, I have had the wonderful opportunity to dance with Katt, who is in her mid-60’s.  Incredibly sweet, honest, and expressive, we stay in touch through email when she is out of state.  Each class that she attends, she impresses me with her dedication, her open-mindedness, and her willingness, eagerness, confidence, and courage to continue being sexy and accepting that she IS sexy.  Katt is involved in other activities outside of the dance studio that affirm and maintain her identity as a sexual being.  Although I’ve already been a believer that there is no “expiration” date on women and that we have the right to remain sexy in our sixties and beyond, it is powerful to get to dance with a woman who is currently living that era, and leading by real-life example.  She is amazing, and shared, “being with gals of ALL ages inspires me as well… who wants to be around only those that are my age?!”

Ishya is a multi-lingual Salsa dancer, aerialist, architect, pilot and personal trainer who rocks six-pack abs.  She is stylish, chic, fun, strong, graceful, genius – the list goes on and on!  And includes “incredibly sexy”.  Getting to work and dance with her is a privilege on its own.  Counting her among my friends?  So cool that it seems unreal.  She eats well, she dances, she networks, she invites – she has a quiet confidence that is unmatched.  She also lives the philosophy that age is no excuse to limit yourself, and is a reminder that no matter what age we are when we find a new passion we should explore it to its fullest.  Did I mention that she is in her late 50’s?

“K” is an attorney who has represented women in lawsuits against some heavy hitters, including the U.S. Air Force.  Talk about strength and power!!  K’s light is infectious.  Regardless of challenges that she faces in daily life, she always brings with her to the studio a smile, a willingness to work hard, and a generosity of love for other students that amazes me weekly.  She is the first to congratulate a fellow student on achieving a new move, the first to compliment a fellow student on being sexy, and she is brave enough to be one of the first ladies to dance on a pole in public when we go out together in safe spaces – leading by example to have confidence in yourself, no matter who is around. (I’d have to ask her – which is more daunting: legal battle against a branch of the U.S. military, or public pole dancing? )

Anne is a civilian contractor, wife, and mother who is also a kick-ass pole dancer.  Anne has mastered tricks that I would not even attempt in my 27-year-old body.  She is beautiful, she is sexy, she is smart, she is supportive, she is brave, she is wise.  She and her husband have been married for over 25 years and have four children.  Seeing them interact, the passion and love that they still have for each other, makes my husband and I say, “That’s who we want to be like as a couple, now and in the future.”  They show us that you don’t have to grow out of being ‘newlyweds’; that women can and should desire and be desired forever.

Kelly and I first bonded when, upon seeing me crochet in the lunchroom of our government job, she exclaimed, “You’re a hooker, too!” It was love at first sight.  Assuming she was in her early 30’s, I was floored when she revealed that she was, in fact, nearly 50.  In preparation for her 50^th birthday, she practiced and perfected, “My name is Sally O’Malley, and I’m not one of those girls who likes to lie about her age.  I am 50 years old and I like to kick! Streeeetch!  Aaaaand kick!” Kelly has braces, and revels in partaking in the small prizes for good orthodontic visits.  She also has a “nice rack” (her words – and I agree!).  She is an amazing example of maintaining a sense of humor through life and its trials, and that you don’t age out of funny.

Barb B and I bonded while carpooling to work together.  Barb has a refinement and quality of speaking that is far greater than she may realize, or than I could adequately honor through my own words.  On paper, we probably shouldn’t be friends.  Our religious beliefs, our politics, our ages – they just don’t ‘match’!  But we quickly found common ground through family dynamics, through philosophy, through sarcasm and wit, through movies.  Conversation flowed easily, and we developed a quick and strong fondness for each other.  I am grateful for our surprise friendship, and for the reminder that wonderful women are everywhere, and we only need open our eyes to seeing them.

Winifred is power, class, refinement personified.  She is an accomplished [insert many titles here], but I met her first as a strong ally.  When Dolphin Dance opened in Poulsbo, there was a charge from a small contingent to have us ‘run out of town’.  As a well-respected member of the community, Winifred went to bat for the studio – for logic, for business, for women.  Getting to know her and to see the work that she does with women, I can only believe that we were simply supposed to meet.  Our relationship was meant to be.  Winifred is an artist who creates (among other things) images of women that display the most beautiful parts of them – those parts we may be afraid of seeing in ourselves, but which are there nonetheless and need only to be freed.  She is the sort of woman who makes me think to myself, and sometimes aloud, in wonderment, “I can’t believe I even know her!” She has paid me compliments, and each time they catch me off guard. She reminds me that women who we deeply admire and respect, can have respect for us in return and we should accept it – we can, in some ways, be “that” woman to others.

Liz was a student who became my teacher.  She is a fast learner, her gymnastic and dance background translating seamlessly to pole dancing.  Her gentle spirit and her kindness are surprising when you see how sexy she is when she moves.  Aren’t women who are so powerfully sexy supposed to be “bitchy”, too? Apparently not.  Liz was able to learn amazing tricks from workshops and other teachers, and brought those in to the studio as our ‘Master Pole’ teacher.  It was an honor to become her student.  She is also a wife and a mother to five sons, and seeing her active in those roles reinforced to me that women are complex and beautiful in so many aspects of their lives.  Moms of little ones can be nurturing, soft, and strong with their children, but can turn around and be sexy as hell in appropriate atmospheres – women remaining women even when they have titles like ‘Mom.’

Kristen is my dance teacher, my mentor, the creator of Dolphin Dance.  When I first started dancing, she was like a fantastic mythical creature so far removed from anyone I’d ever known.  She spoke without shame about her history as an exotic dancer, about her former breast implants, including why she had gotten them and why she had them removed.  Even though she had lived this fascinating life that to my naive mind seemed so sexual, getting to know her I learned that she was so much more.  She is a wife, a mother, a meditator, a healer, a confidant, a dancer, a speaker, a writer, a champion, a hero, a feminist.  Even though she had been a stripper, she maintained a sensibility to what the ‘everyday woman’ would be comfortable exploring in her own awakening as a sexy being, and validated that being sexy does not have to go hand in hand with actually having sex with anyone (or multiple anyones).  She coined the terms, “Sexy is a State of Mind!”, and “Every Woman Deserves to Feel Sexy!”  Kristen built a program based on exotic dance that I’ve seen transform women’s lives – perhaps starting first with feeling sexy, but growing in to so much more as we reclaim who we are and who we can be, as we learn that other women are not our enemies or competitors but instead are our sisters and friends, that we can all be sexy and beautiful and never at the expense of another having to be less so.  Who I am today simply would not exist if I had never met Kristen.

I met Elena while doing voluntary tax preparation at Naval Base Kitsap – Bangor sub base.  A fellow submariner’s wife, she was the first military wife that I made a connection and formed a friendship with.  Elena is funny, sweet, sharp, and outgoing.  She is also brave, not only as evidenced by her decade-plus time as a submariner’s wife, but also evidenced by her willingness to try new things and share them with others.  I was elated when she decided to bring along some friends and take pole dancing lessons with me.  She was a natural – incredibly flexible and fluid from day one.  It was special to get to see her transform from tax preparer (as I met her), to friend (as we hung out), to sexy as we danced together.  When she was transferred to the East Coast, I feared losing a good friend.  Fortunately, we have stayed in touch and my husband and I even visited her just north of Boston.  Elena is a reminder that special women are worth traveling to.

Ashley G was the first person to befriend me while working a corporate job where I was the youngest non-intern employee in the Finance department.  The hours were long and stressful, but Ashley maintained a vigor and positive attitude that was a stark contrast to my cynicism.  She was a sounding board who would offer an alternate perspective on a boss or a co-worker, encouraging me to see them as people beyond my limited view of them.  Becoming her friend outside of work, she rocked my world view on who I thought people were.  She seemed so… traditional, having come from a family with professional parents, having gone to a Catholic school, living in the suburbs.  But, really, Ashley transcends any of those things.  My “liberal” friends could learn a lot from her open-mindedness.  I never realized until my friendship with her that the harsh and negative ways I judged people of traditional faiths, politics, or lifestyles were exactly the same ways that I accused “them” of judging me.  Simply being friends with her made me a better person.

Marie is an instructor at Dolphin Dance.  As a student, she is incredibly diligent and thoughtful in her movements, perfecting form and function, and adding a flair that is sexy as hell and fully representative of who she is as a dancer.  I encourage my students to put their own flavor into their dancing style, and Marie exemplifies that individuality.  She also radiates with positivity and kindness, serenity and strength.  These qualities have translated into a genuine approachability and ease with students, both when they are fellow students and when she is their instructor.  Her fresh perspective lifts my spirits, and she has helped renew my love for dance and teaching.  She leads by example in celebrating new moves, and coined the exclamation, “Dolphin Power!” 

Diane is my “hetero life partner”, my platonic soul mate, my running partner, my best girlfriend.  Before Diane, I didn’t think I needed to have girlfriends.  Why should I?  I have a husband who is also my best friend.  That was all I needed, right? Turned out, I didn’t know what I was missing. Bonding with a woman of a similar age, with similar strict religious upbringing from which we each walked away, was like no other experience I have ever had.  She and I became hard and fast friends.  She gently nudged me toward remembering that even in marriage, I am an individual.  She pushed me to step out of my comfort zone in social situations where old opinions of myself made me feel nerdy and awkward. She encouraged me to try working out, and eventually to start running with her.  The bond that we have is lifelong. We have what I call a “running marriage”, built on a commitment to race in all (non-sucky) states together.  And we have a friendship that is full of trust, intimacy, platonic love, respect, and mutual admiration.  Diane taught me that I can connect with women around my own age, and with women who I would have thought of as “way too cool” to even talk to when I was a teenager. 

Ashley P is slightly younger than I, but has lived a life with much more responsibility than I’ve ever had.  Even though chronologically I am older, in many ways her life experiences would seem otherwise.  She is a mother of two, and has acted as a parent to a younger brother.  In a world where not everyone around her has figured out stability, she dances through with a maturity that is out of this world, parenting a rebellious teenaged brother while she herself was only in her early 20’s.  And speaking of dance… when Ashley was a new student, she expressed a desire to “bring sexy back”.  From where I sat, it looked like sexy had never left.  She is a beautiful dancer, incredibly strong, a quick learner, dedicated to working through challenging moves.  Her determination with pole dance is truly reflective of her strength, independence, and determination as a woman.  It doesn’t come from a place of seeking the approval of others, but from a place of seeking to be her best self.  Age is not a factor in that example being one that all women can admire and emulate.

Launa is five years younger than I.  She reminds me so much of myself – ambitious, precocious, opinionated.  Watching her journey and her personal growth related to dance is like taking a step back in time.  I feel a sort of kinship with her – like a sister from different parents.  We’re both determined, stubborn, and a little rough around the edges.  She is sexy with a sort of innocence – a sort of dichotomy that I like to consider having, myself.  But Launa is an artist in so many mediums.  She is a writer, a painter, a dancer, a creative marketing and business woman.  She is accomplished, driven, unique, and beautiful!  She is also incredibly deep, and understands the nearly crushing darkness that sometimes tries to overwhelm me.  She has been a wonderful friend, helping me out of those moments by just being with me through them and allowing me to feel whatever it is that I feel, never expecting an other-worldly perfection from me.  Age aside, Launa has an ‘old soul’, and I’ve been fortunate to have her as a student, co-worker, and friend.

Ashley D is in her early 20’s and is a photographer, wife, and mother of two.  Her maturity, life experience, outgoing personality, talent and strength all made me assume that we were much closer in age than we are.  Ashley helps women see their sexy side through beautiful, affordable boudoir photographs.  She is strongly rooted in her marriage and family, supporting and guiding her husband in ways that he needs even though she is significantly younger.  She is a reminder that we should not discredit or write off women solely because they are younger than we are, that we shouldn’t assume that they are only in need of learning or growth, but recognize instead that they themselves are women who we can learn from.

The women whose ages aren’t listed range from early 20’s to early 50’s.  For every woman featured, her age is incidental.  Who she is – that is what matters most.  In some cases, her age is simply an ‘icing on the cake’ sort of feature – in that it laughs in the face of what we may be taught that women of a certain age are ‘supposed’ to be like.

At the end of the day, it would feel wrong not to foster an opportunity for other women to get to have these sorts of multi-generational experiences.

I was flat-chested for most of my life.  Growing up in a family with 7 girls and 3 boys, it seems that breast obsession was just built in.  We range from A’s to more than E’s, and a part of our identities are or were at least partly wrapped up in where we fell in that spectrum.  Until I hit my early 20’s, I was in that “A” category.  As a teenager, people even assumed that my younger sister was older due to being more ‘developed’. 

At 21, I got married, and put on a few pounds and body fat.  Voila – increased breast size! At my peak, I was a full C, and I thought I loved it.  When I first started working out, one of the first things I asked my trainer was, “Can I get leaner without losing my boobs?”  He was honest and let me know that we can’t pick and choose where our body drops body fat.  Becoming fit would mean risking the chest that had taken me so darned long to grow.

Within six months, I’d lost a full cup size.  But, surprisingly, I LOVED it!  I realized that when I had larger breasts, I was frequently rounding my shoulders in an attempt to cover the cleavage that I was ‘showing off’.  I had been buying low-cut shirts, but never feeling free in them.  Somehow, oppression came not from coverage, but from exposure.  I had been struggling between pride that I’d finally grown a chest (something seen as valuable in my family and culture), and embarrassment, shame, and anger when I felt that the chest was being looked at by men (an uninvited exploration, use, or enjoyment of my body).

For many women, their breasts make them feel sexy.  Right on, ladies!  They are a beautiful part of our anatomy – and incredibly functional.  (Seriously – we can make food?!  Like, not in a kitchen?  We rock!)  There should be no shame in having pride in your breasts – regardless of their size.  But life gives us a challenge – how do you respect the breasts, use them in ways that don’t harm you, and have fun with them?  I’ve found that in my current breast identity, I feel sexiest and safest in minimizing the fullness – sports bra and a vest, paired with a flat boot, makes me feel so powerful!  Powerful in ways that cleavage never did.  But a lot of women find the opposite – that accentuating the voluptuousness, or perkiness, or softness – gives them a way to express themselves in a way that is pleasing to them and makes them feel powerful.

Recognizing the changes in my self-identity that relate to breast changes caught me off guard.  This one body part (well, set/pair/two/whatev) can have that large of an effect on how I see and present myself? Yes, it can.  And it can for many women.  We all go through the “blossoming” from girl to woman, primarily noticed by others based on growth of breasts.  Many women experience changes to their breasts from child birth, nursing, gravity, cancer, mastectomy, reduction or implant.  These changes in our breasts may reflect a life experience, and may serve as a reminder to us of our change.  For me, they are a physical symbol of different stages in my life – from adolescent, to wife, to athlete.

So, it is that simple – breast identity can influence our self-identity.  The complexity comes in root and reaction – our breasts are often more than just breasts.

To that goal, I am encouraging students to join me in training for what looks to be a fun, positive, inspiring event.  Even if you've never run before, 6 months is plenty of time to train for a 5K (3.1 miles).

I will be scheduling weekly weekend runs (with the exception of when I'm traveling) for folks to participate in if interested.  I'm also completely available for any running related questions, and have a sample training program for very beginner runners that I am happy to share with you.  One very important thing to remember is that you don't have to be "fast" to be a runner!

Details about the race are available here: http://www.seejanerun.com/t-See-Jane-Run-SEATTLE-Half-Marathon-and-5K.aspx

If we get a group of 10 or more ladies (or gents! Men can run this race, although it is women-focused), we can register as a group and receive a 10% discount on registration.  The regular registration rate is $35 for the 5K, $75 for the half-marathon.  If we get a group of 10 or more, I will also provide special Dolphin Dance shirts, designed for the race, to all Dolphin Dance group participants at no cost.  Please contact me at EmilyBC@DolphinDanceExotic.com if you'd like to join us!

Any questions, feel free to ask! 

Emily

I started taking Exotic dance classes back in November of 2006.  I am a military wife, and at the time I lived in Ohio but my husband lived in California.  I wanted to learn a sexy dance so that when I went out to visit him I could knock his socks off with my new moves!  I was so nervous for my first few classes.  I had no dance background, and only knew how to act a fool on the dance floor.  (Better to be laughed with, than laughed at, right?)  I worked hard in class, practiced at home, and struggled through the challenges (both physical and emotional) of learning something so completely foreign to me.

A few months later, I felt confident enough with my new moves to dance for my husband, and it was a success!   Dolphin Dance classes prepared me not only with the moves, but with the performance tips and self-confidence building that I needed to feel great about the entire experience.  And he, of course, had nothing but compliments.

After taking all of the exotic, lap, and chair classes offered, I finally decided to face my final Dolphin Dance fear – pole dancing.  I took my first pole dancing class in March of 2007, and was amazed at the difference in upper body strength I noticed after the first six-week session.  As a slow learner, I opted to repeat several of the pole levels.  I wanted to not just know the tricks and spins – I wanted to be able to execute them as part of a smooth dance, which is a major part of the Dolphin Dance philosophy.  As I became comfortable moving around the pole and incorporating Exotic with Pole dance, I fell in love – with dance, with myself, and with pole dancing.  I felt beautiful, confident, powerful, and (best of all) – sexy!

Is pole dancing a great workout?  Yes.  Will it make you sweat?  Yes.  But the real appeal, for me, is that it can make you feel incredibly sexy.